2012 Silent Protest

Me,Siina, Zimi and Sandy waiting for the
protest to start.

This year I took part in my second Rhodes University Silent protest, which truly touched me emotionally. So for a bit of background the Silent protest is a protest in which protesters tape their mouth shut for the whole day in order to be in solidarity with rape survivors who have been silenced not only by society, but also by the rape culture we live in.

I’m not stupid, I know that taping my mouth, in a university context, isn’t going to make the problem go away, but at least we are making people aware of it. We are making people talk about. That’s a whole lot more than what others are doing. Everyone does the protest, or doesn’t do it, for personal reasons and we should questions people’s motives.

Last year I did the protest for a friend of mine who was molested when she was younger and I felt guilty that I couldn’t do more to be there for her.

This year I experienced the protest differently than what I did last year. Last year I was still naïve about the whole thing. I went along with the protest, didn’t talk or eat the whole day and cried perfectly on cue with the rest of the protestors at the end of the night when the rape survivors shared their stories. I left feeling like I did my part. Then I went to bed and didn’t think about it often again…

 What affected me this year was the negative responses I got. Men started asking me questioning jokingly, because they knew I couldn’t reply with my mouth taped. Then later on in the day I heard men talk about how all the women doing the protest are just a bunch of men-hating feminist and that the protest is a waste of time.

Throughout the day small moments affected me more than the protest as a whole.

One of my friends is a rape survivor and some man told her she should be silent about what had happened. She told me that she hears things like that all the time and I don’t doubt her strength, but I was so upset when I heard about it. It just reflects the rape culture we live in. Rape culture says that women should be wary of where they walk and about what they wear in case it “makes” someone rape them. It says that women must be cautious all the time. This is just a stupid notion. Nothing the person does “makes” someone rape them. No one goes out asking to be raped. Rape culture sets up all women as potential victims and all men as potential predators.

We live in a world where women are told how to avoid rape instead of telling men not to rape.

I started getting bitter during the closing ceremony night, because more and more women got up to tell us their rape stories and more and more told us that they couldn’t speak about to their families. I want to cry just by thinking about. One girl’s tragic confession about knowing about a friend’s rape still haunts me.

The fact that so many men were in solidarity with us and with the rape survivors affected me too. Taking part in the protest doesn’t mean I’m a man-hater it means that I know that there are good men out there-who don’t rape! I come from a family of strong women and loyal men who have showed me what a proper relationship looks like. Larissa, the protest coordinator, said that the men taking part were “what real men looked like” and I guess agree. The men aren’t taped, because they are silenced already by society. Instead of being quiet about the issue men were encouraged to start a positive discourse about women.

While we were walking to the church I ran into one of my guy friends who was taking part! I literally just wanted to cheer when I saw that him there! He told me that he was doing the protest, because he has a little sister and wouldn’t be able to deal with it if something happened to her. For the rest of the march he held his friend, a rape survivor’s, hand while we walked. Deep respect for Timmy! <3

Now that the protest is over I have this hollow feeling in my heart and in the pit of my stomach. It feels like I’ve done nothing. When my tape was removed it took me a while to remember that the tape was no longer there. I got used to it and when it was gone the memory of it lingered on my skin. The memory of the purpose of the protest should linger just like that in the minds of all the protestors. Rape survivors can’t just wash off the experience. They live with what happened with them every day of their lives and we shouldn’t forget that.

Speak up against sexual violence. Whatever I wear; wherever I go. No means No.

(PS #RUsilent was trending the whole day) 

My friend, Jessica Vercueil, reapplying her tape during the die-in.

The Official RUsilent website: 

http://rusilent.com/

News stories about the protest:

http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2012/03/23/rhodes-stages-anti-rape-silent-protest

http://www.citypress.co.za/SouthAfrica/News/Rhodes-students-fall-silent-20120323

Rhodes life:

I’ve recently realized that many of my blog posts have been very superficial and not very personal so I decided to write a blog to tell you all a little about life at Rhodes University and my life in Beit House.

For those that don’t know the layout of Rhodes, most of the university is built on a large hill and thus the university is divided into upper campus and lower campus. I am extremely lucky to have been put into Beit House which is located on lower campus right across from the library. This aspect does make my life a lot easier, because those of you who know me well also know that I am not someone who is punctual or anything like that. I have many friends up the hill and the few times I have ventured up there it’s always been a mission.

Living in residence with about 79 other young women is also such a hectic change from what I’m used to. I’m used to sharing a house with only four other people; where I have to only share a bathroom with two people instead of thirteen people. Even as I am writing this I can hear music radiating from the room above me and the sound of the washing machines spinning away one load of washing after another down the hall.

Don’t get me wrong. Even though we sometimes complain about the noise, the bathrooms or even the food in the dining halls I wouldn’t exchange last year for anything. The great thing about living in res is the fact that you always have someone who has your back. Whether it’s simply a borrowed item of clothing, an iron or even some toothpaste or whether is being there for your neighbour when they need you it doesn’t matter. I have made amazing friends here and I used to think it was just because we happen to live in the same res and are thus forced to hang out, but now I get it. It’s Fate. I was meant to end up in Beit House with the people can now call my friends. It’s weird for me to think that I see these girls every day and yet I am still not tired of seeing them… <3

 In the same way I was meant to come to Rhodes. I was meant to come here and be exposed to the multitude of people here. I would have never thought I would ever end up sharing some important and special moments in my life with a group of people from such different backgrounds, each with their own lesson to teach me.

As cliqued as this sounds last year I learnt some hard lessons, not all in the lecture halls, about acceptance; about longing; about self- confidence; about faith; about relationships; about the true meaning of loss and grief and lastly I learnt some new things about friendship and love. I learnt to love my Rhodes friends and the distance from my family and friends back home showed me how much I actually love and value them. And how much I miss them…

God has a plan for my life; He lets it all work out in the end. When my great friend Jessica from back home told me that she was coming to Rhodes too I was so excited, but then I found out that she was placed in a res up the hill. She was going to be studying sciency things and I thought that I would never see her, but we put effort into making sure we saw each other at least once a week.  During first Semester we would meet up 6^th Period every Tuesday and we religiously kept to this date so that we could fill each our in about the week that had passed. Soon we no longer needed that Tuesday meeting to make plans. This year I am so happy to have become closer to the awesomeness that is Jessica Vercuiel…

So far I’ve learnt to take every moment I have here at Rhodes and make it special. Three years of studying to get a degree is actually a really short time and I would regret wasting the opportunities that are given to me here. I would regret not having the guts to go on adventures with all my friends. I’ve seen first-hand last year that life is short not to give it all you got... (even if you end up embarrassing yourself…) Be young when you are young and don’t afraid to say: “Hello, world.  I’m HERE! Where’s the wine?” ;)

(PS Beit House has just been awarded the top academic residence on campus award!!!)