Cool story, bro

I’ve never been sure about what it meant to be “cool” but all that I know is that, whatever it is, I was never it….Not in High school anyway.  Since I was doing the whole dictionary thing I decided to look up the word “cool”.  While disregarding the definition referring to “make something colder”, I couldn’t find a proper definition for the word “cool” with social situations.

Being “cool” seemed to be some kind of socially constructed concept that only some were able to attain while others, like myself, never got close. The best thing about university is that there isn’t such a thing as being cool. There isn’t a group of people who exist one rung higher up on the social hierarchy. You get to be yourself, have your own interests and hang out with anyone you want. Sure people still judge you, but at least you care a little less.

That being said, I’m thankful that I was classified as being uncool in high school. Being uncool meant that I read books, laughed often, watched fantastic movies about superheroes and hobbits, helped to fix up our school library and spent almost every weekend filming lame horror movies with my friends. It meant that I got to stay young and innocent for as long as possible. It meant that I learnt the importance of hard work, loyalty and passion for something you care about. Being uncool meant that I have to fight for the things that I believed in. For you I was. 

 It also meant that by the time I got to university I was at the right stage in my life that partying and going out was still enjoyable. When I go home everyone who used to think I was “uncool” are surprised by how confident I am now. It took me years to embrace this “uncool” side of myself and I’m glad I did.

John Green's take on perspective

A while back I wrote a blog post about changing your perspective. John Green just recently posted a video discussing the same thing; although much better said: 

"In those millions seconds of perspective I see a life, that I am now very grateful to have, beginning to happen. But I'd didn't know that then." 

"My mother used to tell me that in this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. All life I was smart. I recommend pleasant." 

“What kind of heart doesn’t look back?

(A post in response to the fact that in reality romance is nothing like the romantic moments described in the previous post.)

So despite the fact that I willingly started writing this blog I must confess that am still a little uncomfortable about revealing parts of my personal life. But they always say that you should write what you know, so I figured that qualifies me to write about heart-break. I’ve written a blog post about love before and a year later it’s still not any clearer to me. 

Let’s just say that at a very insecure time in my life I started crushing on (do people still say crushing on?) a certain guy a year older than me while I was in high school. He was sweet; kind; funny; good-looking; athletic; slightly dorky and a gentlemen. You’ll have to forgive me for falling for him despite these small unimportant, cheesy details, but I was crushing on him (I’m going with it) so at the time I didn’t notice his lack of focus or  ambition nor his own insecurities and pitfalls. I had unfortunately mistaken pure politeness on his part for romantic interest and thus my poor little heart was unprepared for the news that he had started dating a girl a year younger than me.  

 

Andy Bardnard, Ed Helm’s character in “The Office” once confessed that he knew a few things about love.  “Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.”

 I guess the point of my little story is that even though it wasn’t a serious break-up or anything,  I invested something in it and it made me feel self-conscious afterwards. In society we put of much pressure to find a partner or to attract members of the opposite sex (or same sex if so inclined) that we often forget about just enjoying our lives. Being a Rhodes has taught me that I would rather have a really good friend than a meaningless hook-up/relationship.  I have faith that I will meet the person I'm meant to end up with.

So I leave you with a part of a speech I recently heard in which a girl thanked everyone who helped her along her academic career: 

“I’d also like to thank my boyfriend for always being by my side. Even though it’s the side I couldn’t see, I know you’re out there and I know you’re proud of me.”

Romantic Movie/ TV Moments

I can honestly admit that I am a hopeless romantic and I can freely admit that a romantic song or a romantic moment in a movie can at times draw a tear or two from me. Now, I’m not embarrassed by this, because honestly it’s just a part of who I am and everyone who knows me accepts that I will always have a romantic side. (Some people out there should be taking notes at this point.)

So here is my list of top romantic moments in movies and TV series:

1)     I can’t even think about compiling this list without adding “The Notebook.” Any girl can testify that Noah and Allie’s romantic reunion in the rain is THE most romantic thing in film history, but their dance in the middle of the street at midnight on their first date is my favourite moment.  

2)     Patrick Verona (A.K.A Heath Ledger)’s performance of “Can’t Keep my Eyes Off Of You” in front of the whole school to show Kat that he isn’t the bad boy everyone claims he is in “10 things I hate about you.” A gesture like that could melt even the coldest of bitter hearts.

3)     It was hard to pick one in “Crazy Stupid Love” so I’ll just include all romantic scenes between Hannah and Jacob. Running into the club, dripping wet, and slightly drunk Hannah confidently and dramatically kisses Jacob and asks him to take her home. Once there her nerves kick in a she awkwardly asks when they are going to “Bang” and to calm her nerves he pulls the “Dirty Dancing” move on her.

4)     Despite the fact that it is an animated movie “Tangled” contains a few romantic moment gems. Rapunzel’s was to see the light from close up on her birthday so she escapes with the outlaw Flynn Rider and the two slowly fall in love.  Singing “I can see the light” sums up their love.

5)     The first 5 minutes of “UP”:  In 5 minutes an amazing and epic love story between an couple from beginning to end is described. Tears every time.

6)     A) “The Vampire Diaries” is filled with numerous romantic moments and it was extremely hard to pick one, so I picked two. After a terrifying night of searching for Stefan in the wood once he had turned rogue, Damon heads to Elena’s home to return her Vervain necklace, but before he is able to, he tells her he loves her, just because he has to and then makes her forget.

B) In Season 4 we are FINNALLY given the chance to see Damon and Elena kiss!! She is conflicted about it yet seems to enjoy it anyway with Florence and the Machine’s “Never Let Me Go” playing the background.

7)     In “Just like Heaven” Reece Witherspoon plays Elizabeth a workaholic doctor, who is in a terrible accident and is then transformed into ghost. The only person who can see her is the man she was meant to meet for a date the night of the accident. Long story short they fall in love, but when she wakes up she doesn’t remember him. He creates a roof-top garden for her and when she sees it she remembers her love for him. 

9)  "Sweet Home Alabama" stands out as one of my favourite romantics movies. In fact it defines romance for me. It's about understanding when it's meant to be; it's meant to be. This scene is so cheesy and dramatic. I eat this stuff up! 

I hate labels: “Fag Hag”

Since the days of ‘Will and Grace” women who have many close gay male friend have been labelled as ‘fag hags’. Now by definition I would be considered to be a fag hag. Personally I hate this label! My mother, who has many gay friends and whose best friend is a gay man who she meets for drinks like every Saturday, hates this label too and she was ranting about it the other day. Her breakdown of why is hates it was just not to great not to share:

Firstly word ‘fag’ is very offensive and I hate it being used to describe my best friends. The word ‘fag’ is derogatory and no one should every use it to describe another person. Secondly the word ‘hag’ is hardly flattering and conjures up images of old witches standing around a cauldron cursed to be single for the rest of their lives.  

Personally I register that my gay friends are gay, but at the same time it doesn’t really affect my friendship with them. I can’t understand why society feels the need to label everything in such heteronormative terms. I have gay friends and we discuss relationships in the same way in which we would discuss my straight friend’s relationships. I understand that there is a lot of subtext going on when it comes to gay relationships and many things that my friends have to go through that I would never be able to fully understand or relate to, but whether straight or gay or whatever I’ll be there for them; through every happy moment and every heartbreak.

Much love. <3

Bad Poetry out of bordom

Laser lights linger in the lining of your eyes, 

People spin around to rhythmic beats

Jackal smiles float around like Cheshire cats… glowing and prefect

The smell of booze and sweat clouds the mind

Willing, but completely unwilling

Embraces from people you know only after midnight...Like Cinderella in reverse.

Sticky drinks at your feet

Breaking glass, breaking fights, broken noses

Drink after drink

People look friendlier. And some what happier…or sadder…

The jackal smile is passed out in the corner

A boy hugs you warmly…Guess we’re friends this weekend

Your friend kisses the “love of her life”

Third wheel…Fifth wheel or spare wheel

The one you once thought of maybe, kinda, possibly loving is lip-locked (tick-tocked), with a girl whose face you can’t see…

(Lip-locked tick-tocked)

Cigarette smoke clings to your hair…. 

The way that girl clings to the boy she just met

You need air, but the windowless building swallows you up…so you drink

And drink…and drink…in you sink

Wake up from your baby bear night…Not great, not bad…Just right…Just average

Just like this poem. 

Pushing Daisies

As if it isn’t obvious already I really enjoy quirky TV series and they don’t come quirkier than Pushing Daisies.

The facts were these: Pushing Daisies is a series about a Pie Maker, Ned, who has the ability to bring dead things back to life. First touch= life; second touch= death again, but this time permanently. Bring something back to life for longer than 60 seconds, just one minute, and something else of equal value has to die in its place.

Ned’s uncomplicated life of making pies and solving murders using his special gift with Private Detective Emerson Cod is vastly complicated by the sudden and untimely of death of his long-lost Charlotte, or Chuck, as she is known to him.

Life would be perfect, except for one cruel twist: if Ned ever touches Chuck again, she'll lose the life that he's given her, forever.  Chuck, grateful for her second chance at life, begins to appreciate life as a precious resource; and Ned, witnessing her happiness, begins to break out of his lonely shell. Chuck joins Ned and Emerson in investigating deaths for reward money. The trio, aided occasionally by Olive Snook, helps solve the mysteries of various murders, whose murderer is often surprising.

"Well, I suppose dying's as good an excuse as any to start living."

— Charlotte "Chuck" Charles

Touted as a "forensic fairy tale", the series is known for its unique visual style, quirky characters, and fast-paced dialogue, often employing wordplay, metaphor, and double entendre. Narrated by the brilliant Jim Dale is beautiful and extremely lyrical and at times it feels like the script was written by Dr. Seus himself.

In a nutshell the show is about showing how people connect, or don't connect, with their fellow humans. It speaks a powerful message about the fact that love can still exist without physical contact.

Lee Pace is adorable as the Pie-Maker and the way he lights up when Chuck is around is so heart-warming.  One of the best things about the show is Olive Snook, played by the insanely talented Kristin Chenoweth, who sang all her own songs in the show. I love Kristin Chenoweth so much! I wish I could be her…

Unfortunately, the show ended up doomed to live up to its name. The first season was truncated by the 2007 Writers Strike, and the second season didn't have much of a head of steam under it. The writing team was given 3 episodes to wrap up the series, and the last episode was aired on June 13, 2009 - one year, eight months, one week and three days after the first. The two seasons together make up a normal full-sized season.

Quota Potter post: Neville

(So I had previously promised that I would write about anything, but lately since my blog had gotten a bit more public I have felt embarrassed to post blog posts that I had written ages ago; like when I was 16. But now I realize that I have to post them otherwise they will be stored up forever and I will regret it. So bare with me.)

As previously mentioned I have always had a crush on Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter Series. Harry and Ron have also not been bad choices over the years and for a brief period I was totally into Oliver Wood. (The accent alone convinced me). Little did I know that over the course of seven books and movies I would fall for the most unlikely hero? Neville Longbottom was just that awkward, clumsy little boy, with a tragic family history, who escaped Harry’s fate, but in the end acted just as nobly and bravely.

In the first few books Neville is only woven into Harry’s story a few times and we find out bits and pieces of his background, but in fifth book we find out that that the prophecy about Harry could have been referring to Neville. The simple reason that Harry became the boy in the prophecy was, because Voldemort himself picked Harry to be his rival. Despite this fact Neville’s life was not an easy one. His parents were both Aurors and when Neville was still a young boy they were tortured to insanity by Belatrix Lestrange leaving Neville to be raised by his formidable grandmother, Augusta. Neville was put into Gryffindor due to his bravery and his loyalty; it is clear in his leadership during the Battle at Hogwarts. Neville is a truly amazing character and it is a shame he is so undervalued. Think about it if these had worked out differently we could have been reading about the adventures of Neville Longbottom. 

Fun Facts:

Neville is left handed. 

 In a game of Mastermind, Matthew Lewis commented that he has been wearing a fat suit for most the films but in the Deathly Hallows, he isn't going to be wearing it any longer (though the Neville character has been noticeably slimmer from the fourth film onward, which most likely is attributed to Neville's transition from shy and clumsy to a more hands-on supporting leader-like figure.

  In the last movie there is the implication that Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom end up together after he confesses his love for her to Harry, Ron and Hermione, but according to J.K Rowling herself that’s not the way in turns out in the end. After a holiday fling both Neville and Luna realize that they will always just be friends. A few years after the Second Battle of the Wizarding World, due to his bravery in the battle, Neville spent two years as an Auror, but soon realized that he would rather be a Herbology professor, so he returns to Hogwarts, marries Hannah Abbot and lives with her and their children in Hogsmead.

(PS Matthew Lewis the young man who had played Neville for the last 10 years has also surprised us all! Not only is he an amazing character, but certainly doesn’t look like that awkward kid any more.

There’s no place like home

While doing a Journalism assignment last year my assignment partner and I were confronted by the confusing question: “Do you consider Grahamstown to be your home?” 

The Online Oxford Dictionary defines the concept of “home” as being “the district or country where one was born or has settled on a long-term basis.” If I consider that definition then technically my home would then be Bloemfontein, since I was born there and I grew up there. On the other hand I’ve settled in Grahamstown for close to two years now. Wouldn’t that strictly make good old G-town my home?

The word Home is interesting, because it has many positive connotations associated with it. It evokes feelings of safety, security and familiarity. A Home is something more than simply a House. That’s Bloemfontein. It’s safe. I know how people will react to me there. I know the streets. Almost every corner has a memory and a moment associated with it. Bloem for me is about family and nostalgia. Friends who I have known for years still live in Bloem. But Bloem is a bubble. A bubble I love very much, but still very much a safe, isolated bubble.

Another definition of the word “home” is “a place where something flourishes.” When I read this I knew straight away that it related to my relationship with Grahamstown. I’ve been at Rhodes for a little more than two and a half years and I’ve come so far in my time here. I’ve learnt a lot and experienced things I may have never experienced in my little bubble. I've met people from all over the world and from all spheres of life.

I’ve been faced with the reality of many issues that I had been sheltered to in Bloem. At Rhodes I have had people speak openly about and confront issues such as depression, mental illness, racial tensions, the treatment of LGTBQ youth, the plight of the poor in my community, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, suicide, eating disorders, sexual harassment and rape. Rhodes University is not immune to these issues, but at least there is a platform to talk about them. Sure, it's a bubble in it's own way, but it's opened there door to many great things in my life. 

Being at Rhodes has given me a confidence I didn’t know I had.  No matter where I go in my life I will know that Grahamstown will not merely be “that town I once lived in”, but rather I will think back fondly to my time here. Grahamstown is my home. 

I'm back (round two)

Sorry everyone! I know I've been quiet lately, but life got super real for me this semester. Calm yourselves, I'm back! So expect a few more blog posts coming your way.