You sexy thang (self-image)

Recently I was quite surprised to find out that one of the girls in my classes that I consider to be the most beautiful girl I know has been on a fruit diet for the last two weeks. That means that for the last two weeks she had ONLY been eating fruits and veggies and drinking only water. This beautiful and absolutely skinny girl told me that she felt fat and ugly! The irony of this is that she was telling me this while wearing the most stunning, tight dress that fit her body perfectly.

It’s very easy for me to get very angry about skinny girls complaining about their weight, but I’ve come to realise that it’s very hard for people to let go of their insecurities. It would be very hypocritical for me to tell her to “get over it”, when I’m struggling with the very same thing.

I have a friend here at Rhodes who isn’t a size 0 or anything, but that doesn’t matter. I actually think that we have about the same dress size, but I consider her to be amazingly beautiful. She knows how to dress her body and I would kill to have hair that falls straight down my back like hers does. She had this amazing face with beauty spots in the prefect order. Other than this she is also hard working, amazingly witty, clever, well-read and has the nicest laugh. All these things make her beautiful too.

I’m not going to lie I have moments of insecurity all the time. I guess it comes with being at university. We are still figuring out who we are. The other night I received the nicest compliment from the most unexpected person. As I was walking past he looked up from his conversation and said to me:

Ed Sheeran being amazing as usual

 “Elri, you know, you are the perfect walking example of what a woman should look like.”

When I got home, I taped this quote to ye mirror, because from now on I’m going to remember the (sincere) compliments that people give me. I say sincere, because one too many drunk guys, hoping for a hook-up, have said to me that I look hot. I'm done with that. I’m done with the fake and I’m done with the negative.

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years when she found out that he had cheated on her. I was joking with her that we should be asexual from now on and not be into any one. She gave me a serious look, took a long drag of her cigarette and said to me, “I want to be a-sexual for a bit, because I need to love myself. I loved him to the point that I didn’t love myself anymore.”

There will always be someone who you think is more beautiful. Or cleverer. Or more successful. Or whatever. But as cheesy as this sounds when I brush my teeth and look in the mirror I know that I am loved…

(PS do me a favour. From now on, when you get a compliment tape it to your mirror. Sing along to music, pick flowers, love, whatever because you are alive and you are beautiful…) 

Rumour has it

So for the sake of not getting too personal I’m going tell you all a little story that may or may not be autobiographical. So tuck in boys and girls for story time…

Imagine a princess at a university far, far away who had developed a crush on a prince a year older than her who lived in a castle up the hill. He was nice (or so she had thought at the time); averagely good-looking and cool, in an utterly cheesy way. This false prince impressed the girl with his humour, wit and charm. He bought her expensive drinks, made her laugh, brushed her hair back from her eyes and held her hand occasionally. 

 In the Hunger Games (the movie) there is a quote that states: “A little hope is effective. A spark is fine, as long as it's contained."

Being still naïve about the way in which romance worked at university the princess had gotten a little hopeful about her fate with this false prince. When she started showing interest in him, without her knowing, he had changed his mind. He moved off the pillage the heart of another (and another and another and another…)

But the girl stayed hopeful that there would be some other prince out there for her. A year after the false prince had moved away to another kingdom (and away from the princess’ mind), when the princess was courting with suitors in their first year in the kingdom she noticed a young man from the prince’s castle. She thought nothing of him, until he approached her. After all why would she notice him when he never before taken interest in her?  Let’s just say this squire turned out to be false too. The princess was humiliated by the second false prince who had told other’s in his castle of her affections. The princess was made to look like the court fool who chanced after the young men, while they laughed behind her back. For days the princess hid in her chamber, afraid to the face the kingdom…

Luckily for her, the princess had a court full of amazing sisters who lived with her in her castle who supported her though her humiliation and laughed in turn at the men’s pitiful attempts at become knights. The princess and her sisters spent their days together drinking wine and ruling the kingdom.

(I hope that you guys liked this little story. Rhodes people can try to figure out…) 

Boatraces!

Imagine you just got off a nine hour bus trip. You feel and look like Hell. There in front of you stand two good looking guys to pick you and your friends, Sally and Dan, up. The one looks vaguely familiar and jokes around. Pretending to have an Afrikaans name. The other one is an army boy, clearly given the weekend off. They struggle with your luggage and then you have about 5 mins to select a weekend’s worth of supplies and clothes. You end up at a digs at the edge of town where you are greeted by a guy who has at one point been called “the handsomest guy on campus.” Mr. Handsome shakes my hand, despite the fact that we had already met six times in the course of our two years at Rhodes.

Finally we are off to Port Alfred for BoatRaces! We end up in Mr. Army’s car and it’s clear that he wants to get there in good time. I hold tight to the handle of the car as we speed on at 180km/h. Even before I knew about his advanced driving course I figured that he valued his own life enough not to do something stupid. Once in Port Alfred we are directed to a caravan park, with a bizarrely large amount of security and wait around for the rest of our friends to arrive with our tents. When they arrive we set up our tents, change into our overalls, mix our drinks and head off to the River…

Just a a bit of background. Boatraces or the Mutual & Federal Universities Boatrace is an Rowing Regatta held annually in Port Alfred in which universities from across the county take part in. The event, and I quote, has “legendary status amongst South African students and the festivities are something every student should experience at least once.”

When we walked to the river all you could see was white and purple everywhere! So many familiar faces of people that I don’t actually know appear in front me. The guys from our camp had somehow gotten their hands on a megaphone, which they used to sing out drinking songs and obscenities. The megaphone also had a handy like siren attached to it, which meant that we barely lost each other in the first hour; we just had to listen out for the siren!

Alcohol spray gun

Arriving at the camp site we spot a giant RedBull monster truck on which the DJ was situated. We jammed on a platform for a bit and walked on. Walking along the river bank we spot a group of close friends from Goldfields chilling in the sun so we join them and actually watch a few of the races. Rhodes may have fallen out of the race by the time we arrive, but we had the “Gees!” All around people very drinking and dancing and call of “RHODENTS!”  could be heard. One guy from NMNU, who was on crushes due to a broken foot, had taped a water gun filled with alcohol to one of his crutches and was offering us all some!

Illyssa and Travis on his bike

The American Exchange students join us and we all wrote sweet, and obscene messages on each other’s overalls. My friend Illyssa even got a chance to take her first motor cycle trip around the campsite (at quite a slow pace, but still.) The portable toilets were disgusting and pretty soon we were off back to camp for a quick braai. Naturally Mr. Afrikaans braaied while Mr. Army stabbed all our overalls with a knife.

We headed back to the main campsite just as the sun was going down and again we sat by the river bank with the Goldfield’s boys. The light that reflected off the river at that time was so romantic, despite the fact that I was fifth wheeling it at this point. So I helped my friends carry their friend, “The fireman” as Kate, Roxy  and I affectionately call him ( I mean he is a hottie), to their tent and tuck him into bed. Next stop: The Lounge. This dirty and strange club, which basically looked like a barn, was the centre of the festivities for the night.

At this part of the story I just have mention Murray King, one of the coolest friends I have, who basically let me eat his food and chill in his car and listen to Bob Dylan when I wanted a break from the Lounge. This is also the friend who helped me up when I fell on my face in front of everyone! <3

As I always do, I lost Sally and Dan and ended up at the Goldfield’s campsite. To my surprise The Fireman had made a comeback and was happily, and loudly, singing drinking songs. “Not fit for a lady…which you are Elri,” he says as he blocks my ears. ;)

Back to the Lounge where we jammed at the RedBull truck, danced in the barn, and some on the bar itself, flirted, laughed, sat by the river; and by the fire and sent off the holiday with a bang!

The Exchange students, Sally, Dan and I with Rhodie, the Rhodes mascot! 

Finally two of my friends agreed to walk me back to the caravan park so that I didn’t have to tackle in the dark alone. As I got into the tent I basically tripped over Mr. Afrikaans, who was fast asleep at the door of our tent. Clearly it didn’t end well with the girl I saw him with earlier. I could just imagine what was going on in Mr. Handsome’s car, considering the dodgy sounds that were emanating from that direction, so I just pulled the blanket over my head and hoped that I wouldn’t snore and embarrass myself in front of Mr. Afrikaans.

The next day I made my way back to the main campsite to check that everyone was still alive over there. Not surprised to find a few people passed on the grass and a few who hadn’t slept at all. The campsite was look particularly apocalyptic. What did surprise me was the fact that so many hung-over people had made it up by 7am and were already on their way back to G-town!

So I scrubbed the mud, purple paint and marker Yolo’s off me and had to get back to reality. But what an experience! Tent buddies next year, anyone?

The Kowie River view! <3

Boys like Girls review

In an attempt to gather as many Taylor Swift songs as possible I came across the song “Two is Better Than One” by Boys Like Girls in which Taylor Swift features. Since then I have been compulsively listen two both their self-titled debut album Boys Like Girls and their second album Love Drunk. I have always been a fan of the song Love Drunk, but I never got into the rest of Boys Like Girls music until last year.

Yes, they make me feel like I’m in high school again, but at the moment that is what it feels like to be into someone while at university. You feel stupid, and dorky and awkward, but in a sweet, optimistic way. With maturing comes responsibility and we are confronted by complicated choices. It’s great to mature, but it’s great to hold one to some innocence. It’s scary to think about something serious no matter how many times my romantic heart screams at me. It’s all about balance. About falling when you know you might get hurt.

Boys Like Girls seems to embrace the youthful and free air of university. We are having fun, sorting out what we want in life. At the same time the idea of romance enthrals and intrigues us. They embrace what it is to be young and simply living your life.

“We’ll scream loud at the top of our lungs. They’ll think it’s ‘cause we’re young, but we’ll feel so alive…”

2012 Silent Protest

Me,Siina, Zimi and Sandy waiting for the
protest to start.

This year I took part in my second Rhodes University Silent protest, which truly touched me emotionally. So for a bit of background the Silent protest is a protest in which protesters tape their mouth shut for the whole day in order to be in solidarity with rape survivors who have been silenced not only by society, but also by the rape culture we live in.

I’m not stupid, I know that taping my mouth, in a university context, isn’t going to make the problem go away, but at least we are making people aware of it. We are making people talk about. That’s a whole lot more than what others are doing. Everyone does the protest, or doesn’t do it, for personal reasons and we should questions people’s motives.

Last year I did the protest for a friend of mine who was molested when she was younger and I felt guilty that I couldn’t do more to be there for her.

This year I experienced the protest differently than what I did last year. Last year I was still naïve about the whole thing. I went along with the protest, didn’t talk or eat the whole day and cried perfectly on cue with the rest of the protestors at the end of the night when the rape survivors shared their stories. I left feeling like I did my part. Then I went to bed and didn’t think about it often again…

 What affected me this year was the negative responses I got. Men started asking me questioning jokingly, because they knew I couldn’t reply with my mouth taped. Then later on in the day I heard men talk about how all the women doing the protest are just a bunch of men-hating feminist and that the protest is a waste of time.

Throughout the day small moments affected me more than the protest as a whole.

One of my friends is a rape survivor and some man told her she should be silent about what had happened. She told me that she hears things like that all the time and I don’t doubt her strength, but I was so upset when I heard about it. It just reflects the rape culture we live in. Rape culture says that women should be wary of where they walk and about what they wear in case it “makes” someone rape them. It says that women must be cautious all the time. This is just a stupid notion. Nothing the person does “makes” someone rape them. No one goes out asking to be raped. Rape culture sets up all women as potential victims and all men as potential predators.

We live in a world where women are told how to avoid rape instead of telling men not to rape.

I started getting bitter during the closing ceremony night, because more and more women got up to tell us their rape stories and more and more told us that they couldn’t speak about to their families. I want to cry just by thinking about. One girl’s tragic confession about knowing about a friend’s rape still haunts me.

The fact that so many men were in solidarity with us and with the rape survivors affected me too. Taking part in the protest doesn’t mean I’m a man-hater it means that I know that there are good men out there-who don’t rape! I come from a family of strong women and loyal men who have showed me what a proper relationship looks like. Larissa, the protest coordinator, said that the men taking part were “what real men looked like” and I guess agree. The men aren’t taped, because they are silenced already by society. Instead of being quiet about the issue men were encouraged to start a positive discourse about women.

While we were walking to the church I ran into one of my guy friends who was taking part! I literally just wanted to cheer when I saw that him there! He told me that he was doing the protest, because he has a little sister and wouldn’t be able to deal with it if something happened to her. For the rest of the march he held his friend, a rape survivor’s, hand while we walked. Deep respect for Timmy! <3

Now that the protest is over I have this hollow feeling in my heart and in the pit of my stomach. It feels like I’ve done nothing. When my tape was removed it took me a while to remember that the tape was no longer there. I got used to it and when it was gone the memory of it lingered on my skin. The memory of the purpose of the protest should linger just like that in the minds of all the protestors. Rape survivors can’t just wash off the experience. They live with what happened with them every day of their lives and we shouldn’t forget that.

Speak up against sexual violence. Whatever I wear; wherever I go. No means No.

(PS #RUsilent was trending the whole day) 

My friend, Jessica Vercueil, reapplying her tape during the die-in.

The Official RUsilent website: 

http://rusilent.com/

News stories about the protest:

http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/2012/03/23/rhodes-stages-anti-rape-silent-protest

http://www.citypress.co.za/SouthAfrica/News/Rhodes-students-fall-silent-20120323

Rhodes life:

I’ve recently realized that many of my blog posts have been very superficial and not very personal so I decided to write a blog to tell you all a little about life at Rhodes University and my life in Beit House.

For those that don’t know the layout of Rhodes, most of the university is built on a large hill and thus the university is divided into upper campus and lower campus. I am extremely lucky to have been put into Beit House which is located on lower campus right across from the library. This aspect does make my life a lot easier, because those of you who know me well also know that I am not someone who is punctual or anything like that. I have many friends up the hill and the few times I have ventured up there it’s always been a mission.

Living in residence with about 79 other young women is also such a hectic change from what I’m used to. I’m used to sharing a house with only four other people; where I have to only share a bathroom with two people instead of thirteen people. Even as I am writing this I can hear music radiating from the room above me and the sound of the washing machines spinning away one load of washing after another down the hall.

Don’t get me wrong. Even though we sometimes complain about the noise, the bathrooms or even the food in the dining halls I wouldn’t exchange last year for anything. The great thing about living in res is the fact that you always have someone who has your back. Whether it’s simply a borrowed item of clothing, an iron or even some toothpaste or whether is being there for your neighbour when they need you it doesn’t matter. I have made amazing friends here and I used to think it was just because we happen to live in the same res and are thus forced to hang out, but now I get it. It’s Fate. I was meant to end up in Beit House with the people can now call my friends. It’s weird for me to think that I see these girls every day and yet I am still not tired of seeing them… <3

 In the same way I was meant to come to Rhodes. I was meant to come here and be exposed to the multitude of people here. I would have never thought I would ever end up sharing some important and special moments in my life with a group of people from such different backgrounds, each with their own lesson to teach me.

As cliqued as this sounds last year I learnt some hard lessons, not all in the lecture halls, about acceptance; about longing; about self- confidence; about faith; about relationships; about the true meaning of loss and grief and lastly I learnt some new things about friendship and love. I learnt to love my Rhodes friends and the distance from my family and friends back home showed me how much I actually love and value them. And how much I miss them…

God has a plan for my life; He lets it all work out in the end. When my great friend Jessica from back home told me that she was coming to Rhodes too I was so excited, but then I found out that she was placed in a res up the hill. She was going to be studying sciency things and I thought that I would never see her, but we put effort into making sure we saw each other at least once a week.  During first Semester we would meet up 6^th Period every Tuesday and we religiously kept to this date so that we could fill each our in about the week that had passed. Soon we no longer needed that Tuesday meeting to make plans. This year I am so happy to have become closer to the awesomeness that is Jessica Vercuiel…

So far I’ve learnt to take every moment I have here at Rhodes and make it special. Three years of studying to get a degree is actually a really short time and I would regret wasting the opportunities that are given to me here. I would regret not having the guts to go on adventures with all my friends. I’ve seen first-hand last year that life is short not to give it all you got... (even if you end up embarrassing yourself…) Be young when you are young and don’t afraid to say: “Hello, world.  I’m HERE! Where’s the wine?” ;)

(PS Beit House has just been awarded the top academic residence on campus award!!!)

It’s the LEAP year!!

So for those of you that don’t know 2012 is a LEAP YEAR! And it’s also my 5^th birthday! That’s right I'm a leap year baby or a leaper/leapling as we are commonly called. So I guess I’ll tell you more about what it entails. (Firstly to clear something up: Usually on, non-Leap-Year-years, I celebrate my birthday on the 28^th of Feb.)

In order to clear up some confusion let me explain how the leap year works: We all know that the year is made up of 365 days or Earth's revolutions around the sun. But did you know it that it in fact takes the Earth approximately 365.242199 days – or 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 46 seconds – to circle once around the Sun. Hence once every four years to balance this, we have a leap year and an extra day, February 29th.Nearly every 4 years is a Leap Year in our modern Gregorian Calendar.

The day was called “Leap Day”, because about hundred years ago English law refused to accept it as an official day and just “leaped” over it. That particular day had no legal status in British law, so things such as court, contracts, etc, were not legally recognized of binding on that day. The “leaping” name also explains why frogs have always been associated with Leap Year’s Day.

According to an old Irish tradition on Leap Year’s day women were allowed certain “privileges” which “allowed” them to propose marriage to a man! If he refused, he was required to pay a fine in the form of either a silk dress, twelve gloves or a kiss.

So despite the fact that it is the middle of the week I plan to make sure that this birthday is special. After being woken up by some of my friends in res I managed to stay in bed the whole morning watching “Leap Year”. I know it’s cheesy, but I’m feeling in a romantic mood! Might just ask someone out today as well!

Fun Facts:

                                      

People born on February 29 are all invited to join The Honor society of Leap Year Day Babies.

According to the Guinness Book of Records, there are world record holders both of a family producing three consecutive generations born on February 29 and of the number of children born on February 29 in the same family.

According to astrologers, those born under the sign of Pisces on February 29 have unusual talents and personalities reflecting their special status.

  

“Thirty days hath September,

April, June and November;

All the rest have thirty-one

Save February, she alone

Hath eight days and a score

Til leap year gives her one day more.”

I have sailed a 1000 ships to you

Seems to me we all need something positive to cheer us up, so talking again about things which make me happy I think I have to mention Rachel Platten’s song “1000 ships”, which can put a smile on anyone’s face. So to get to her I first have to take a bit of a side track. One day while checking out Youtube I came across the featured vlogger of the day who happened to be Jason Munday, a Youtube musician who also has a wizard rock band, called Ministry of Magic. He claims to be the nerdest musician on Youtube, but that it why I love his music so much! I am a dork and I’m embracing it!

Anyway, back on track, recently Jason Munday starred in a fan-made music video made by Strawburry17 for Rachel Platten’s song “1000 ships”.

I had heard about the song once before when Andrew Sims and BenSchoen mentioned it on their podcast “HYPE”, but at the time I didn’t think much about it, but then it keep come up! Now I am hooked to Platten’s music! I guess it’s because she writes music that I can relate to as a young women trying to figure out her life and the way she feels about things. Her songs seem too perfectly reflect the point at which I am at the moment. Life is joyous, yet complicated…

Her album, Be Here, was released from Rock Ridge Music in 2011. According to Platten’s website her “uplifting, instantly catchy anthems celebrate the love and light in the world with a passionate intensity that has been missing on the radio dial for far too long.”

“They’re positive and poppy, without ever sacrificing the hard truths out there that we all have to live through.”

Rachel Platten - "1,000 Ships" Lyrics

I'd go beyond our fighting borders if you needed that from me
I'd march with decorated soldiers to get your pretty eyes to see
Well I would bring your morning coffee then I'd wrap you up in me
I'd kiss your belly and your shoulders, cover blankets on our feet

So slow down, there's some kind of blessing here
But you have missed your cue

So keep your eyes set on the horizon
On the line where blue meets blue
And I would let that silver lining,
Well I know it'll find you soon

Cause I have sailed a 1000 ships to you,
But my messages don't seem to make it through

Well money and fame they are a losing game
And I know those pretty actresses are calling your name,
But I'll be here waiting,
I'll always be the same
If you'd let me in again...

So keep your eyes set on the horizon
On the line where blue meets blue
And I would let that silver lining,
Well I know it'll find you soon

Keep your eyes set on the horizon
On the line where blue meets blue
And I would let that silver lining in,
Well I know it'll find you soon

Cause I have sailed a 1000 ships to you,
But my messages don't seem to make it through

Go check out my Soundcheck review that I did on Rachel Platten for a Journ assignment:

http://soundcheck.posterous.com/soulful-youth-is-here-tag-rachel-platten-be-h

Also go check out her website for more information:

http://www.rachelplatten.com/

The Hiatus is over!!

Sorry for the lack of blog posts in the last few months. My Media Studies lecturer would have had a fit if he knew I was being such an irregular blogger. To be fair I was stuck at home with the worst internet connection known to man and then went on holiday to Clanwillaim, where I spent my days laying on the beach and where the concept of the internet was the furthest thing from my mind.

Fortunately now that I am back in the Purple nation and have access to a magical thing called ResNet I will now be able to post more regularly. Don’t let my absence fool you either I have a bunch of stored posts saved up for you guys to enjoy.