You sexy thang (self-image)

Recently I was quite surprised to find out that one of the girls in my classes that I consider to be the most beautiful girl I know has been on a fruit diet for the last two weeks. That means that for the last two weeks she had ONLY been eating fruits and veggies and drinking only water. This beautiful and absolutely skinny girl told me that she felt fat and ugly! The irony of this is that she was telling me this while wearing the most stunning, tight dress that fit her body perfectly.

It’s very easy for me to get very angry about skinny girls complaining about their weight, but I’ve come to realise that it’s very hard for people to let go of their insecurities. It would be very hypocritical for me to tell her to “get over it”, when I’m struggling with the very same thing.

I have a friend here at Rhodes who isn’t a size 0 or anything, but that doesn’t matter. I actually think that we have about the same dress size, but I consider her to be amazingly beautiful. She knows how to dress her body and I would kill to have hair that falls straight down my back like hers does. She had this amazing face with beauty spots in the prefect order. Other than this she is also hard working, amazingly witty, clever, well-read and has the nicest laugh. All these things make her beautiful too.

I’m not going to lie I have moments of insecurity all the time. I guess it comes with being at university. We are still figuring out who we are. The other night I received the nicest compliment from the most unexpected person. As I was walking past he looked up from his conversation and said to me:

Ed Sheeran being amazing as usual

 “Elri, you know, you are the perfect walking example of what a woman should look like.”

When I got home, I taped this quote to ye mirror, because from now on I’m going to remember the (sincere) compliments that people give me. I say sincere, because one too many drunk guys, hoping for a hook-up, have said to me that I look hot. I'm done with that. I’m done with the fake and I’m done with the negative.

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years when she found out that he had cheated on her. I was joking with her that we should be asexual from now on and not be into any one. She gave me a serious look, took a long drag of her cigarette and said to me, “I want to be a-sexual for a bit, because I need to love myself. I loved him to the point that I didn’t love myself anymore.”

There will always be someone who you think is more beautiful. Or cleverer. Or more successful. Or whatever. But as cheesy as this sounds when I brush my teeth and look in the mirror I know that I am loved…

(PS do me a favour. From now on, when you get a compliment tape it to your mirror. Sing along to music, pick flowers, love, whatever because you are alive and you are beautiful…)