“I’m not a bitch”

I’m not a bitch for not wanting to hook up with you. I’m not a bitch for taking my drunk friend home instead of letting her go home with that guy. I’m not a bitch for confronting you about trying to grope me and my friends at the bar. I’m not a bitch for asking you to be professional instead of inappropriate at work. I’m not a bithc for asking you not to be vulgar towards me when I don’t know you. I’m not a bitch for asking you to leave me alone repeatedly. So don’t called me a bitch for standing up for myself. 

I decided to reactivate my blog with a post about harassment. It’s distressing to think that domestic violence, gender-based violence and sexual assault are a great part of the socio-political landscape of our society. The scary part of this kind of harassment is that many women get used to it. I started writing this post before the Yes All Women hashtag came out and it is even more relevant to me in light of that.

Every sphere of a women’s life she is told by society that she has to be cautious of the advances of men. This plays into the larger ideologies surrounding gender and women’s safety within order society. Women are taught to be fearful, thus perpetuating the notion that women are vunerable and weak. I was talking to a girl in a bar the one night and a male friend of mine (whom she didn’t know) approached our table. She immediately tensed up and when he left she told me that a man had harassed her as she was walking in and she was still took shaken up to be around me. I had a similar experience when a man much older than me shoved me, because I refused to kiss him. (He was clearly much older- older even than my own father.) These are small moments and in a way I’m blessed that nothing worse has happened to me. Even that thought plans into greater ideology of rape culture. We are encouraged to think of ourselves as victims.

I recently found a very great quote on Twitter from a male journalist who summed up this problem very clearly:

“Not all men menace, but all women have been menaced by men.”

My own #YesAllWomen Tweets (based on real experiences):

#YesAllWomen because I shouldn't be called a "bitch" for not responding to vulgar and disrespectful comments about my appearance.

#YesAllWomen because, in order to feel safe, I need to run through certain sections of my home town if I'm walking alone.

#YesAllWomen because a man much older than me shouldn't shove my friends and I when we wouldn't respond to his inappropriate comments.

Recently a man was very respectful towards me and my choices and I want to live in a world where I'm not surprised about this.